A beginner’s guide to learning languages and making friends

Regardless of where you live or what you do, most people can agree that making friends as an adult isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be downright difficult, and trying to forge new friendships across languages and cultures is often even harder. Luckily, language learning and friendship go hand-in-hand; they thrive together.

When you practice a language with another person, you’re not just exchanging words; you’re sharing parts of your identity and worldview. You exchange humorous idioms and share small stories that shape your everyday life, which can have a tremendous impact on the relationship you create with your language partner.

That’s why so many members of the Tandem community say the same thing: “I came to learn a language. I stayed for the friendships.”

In this article, we’ll explore how to build meaningful, lasting friendships while learning a language, both through Tandem’s unique tools and through insights that make cross-cultural relationships so rewarding.

Why language learning naturally creates friendships

Language learning is inherently social. Even when you’re focused on grammar drills or vocabulary lists, you don’t truly start to gain fluency until you begin using the language with another person. Traditional classroom settings aren’t always conducive to making friends, but it can happen. In language exchanges, you’re more likely to find new friends, as you continue to converse and get to know each other.

You make mistakes together, laugh together, learn new expressions, and slowly become comfortable sharing parts of your life in a new linguistic world. That shared vulnerability creates the perfect environment for friendship to grow.

This is especially true on language learning apps like Tandem, where geography doesn’t restrict you. Your language partner might be studying in Seoul or teaching in Buenos Aires, which gives you the perfect opportunity to experience more cultural connections. Over time, small pieces of conversation can help create a genuine friendship across cultures.

How language learning helps friendships form naturally

As mentioned, learning a language simply cannot happen without the social aspect. Otherwise, what’s the point? Nobody learns a new language so they can sit at home and read books or watch movies; they learn a new language to communicate with other people.

Once you start communicating, friendships tend to grow organically. Some of the reasons behind this include:

• Shared vulnerability: Speaking in a non-native language puts everyone on equal footing. Admitting “I don’t know the word for this” becomes a bonding moment rather than a setback.
• Built-in curiosity: If you’re learning a new language, you’re already curious about the people who speak it. That curiosity fuels deeper, more meaningful conversations.
• Mutual support: You encourage each other, celebrate small wins, and learn to be patient with mistakes, which are core ingredients of strong friendships.
• Cultural storytelling: Every conversation is an invitation to share traditions, perspectives, humor, and worldview. These cultural layers make friendships richer and more memorable.
• Regular interaction: Frequent chatting, audio messages, and calls create familiarity and routine, which naturally strengthen emotional connection.
• Real-life relevance: Unlike classroom learning, language exchange revolves around real experiences (your weekend plans, your favorite foods, your city’s weather). which quickly feels personal.

The global friendship effect

There’s nothing like building a network of friends around the world, and doing so can make you realize that we’re more similar than you might think. That’s why one of the best parts about language exchange apps like Tandem is that they transform the world into a shared classroom. With a global community, you gain the ability to learn how people live, think, and communicate across cultures. This often leads to moments like:

• Realizing your language partner halfway across the world shares your love of 90s music
• Teaching each other slang that doesn’t appear in textbooks
• Comparing holiday traditions or school memories
• Discovering that humor can translate even when grammar doesn’t

These moments add up and are often the foundation of lifelong friendships.

How to make friends while learning a new language

Making friends while learning a new language doesn’t mean forcing connections. On Tandem, many friendships begin with intention, openness, and genuine curiosity. Here’s how to foster meaningful connections from the very first message.

Start with a thoughtful, genuine introduction

Your language exchange profile is your first impression, and a friendly, detailed introduction helps the right people feel comfortable reaching out. Instead of a short list of your language goals, try painting a small picture of who you are.

A strong introduction might include:

• Your interests: music, food, sports, books, travel dreams
• Your learning goals: preparing for a trip, improving pronunciation, practicing small talk
• Fun personal details: favorite snacks, weekend hobbies, unusual talents
• Conversation comfort zones: whether you prefer texting, audio messages, or calls

Look for language partners who share your energy and intentions

The best friendship-ready language exchanges are built on compatibility. That’s why a great language partner is someone who communicates with a rhythm that matches your own and brings positive energy to the conversation.

When searching for language partners, consider:

• Shared interests: Do you both love cinema? Hiking? Baking?
• Communication style: Short messages or long conversations?
• Learning goals: Balanced language exchange works best when goals align.
• Time zones & availability: Sustainable friendships grow where schedules overlap.

Be consistent; friendships grow over time

Consistency is one of the most underrated aspects of building friendships, both online and in person. Language learning friendships don’t typically form from one long conversation but from many small interactions over time.

Ways to build on your newfound friendships include:

• Sending a quick message updating your language partner about something you previously talked about
• Exchanging audio messages weekly
• Scheduling regular calls
• Setting small shared goals (e.g., “Let’s teach each other five idioms this week”).

These can help turn casual conversations into familiar connections. Over time, your chat partner becomes someone you genuinely look forward to hearing from, regardless of the language you’re speaking.

Let curiosity lead the conversation

One of the most powerful ways to make friends is by showing genuine interest in the other person’s life. Language exchange naturally opens the door to deeper cultural conversations. To help facilitate these conversations, try asking questions like:

• “What’s something unique about your city that visitors often miss?”
• “What tradition from your culture means the most to you?”
• “What’s a phrase in your language that doesn’t translate well?

Balance learning with personality

Corrections and grammar notes are important, but friendships form when conversations go beyond the mechanics of language. Don’t be afraid to show your personality, your sense of humor, your passions, and your quirks. When you allow both language practice and real conversation to exist together, your exchanges feel less like lessons and more like a friendship.

Celebrate small wins together

Every new word or moment of understanding deserves recognition. Celebrating these milestones creates warmth and positivity, two things that make friendships last. Even the smallest moments can feel like a victory when they’re shared, so consider celebrating:

• Your partner’s new vocabulary achievement
• Their first audio message in your language
• Their holiday or cultural celebrations
• Personal news they’re proud of (big or small)

The more you celebrate together, the more meaningful your connection becomes.

Ask open-ended questions

Instead of “How are you?”, try questions that invite stories, such as:

• “What’s the best meal you’ve had recently?”
• “What’s one tradition from your culture that you love?”
• “What does a perfect weekend look like in your city?”
• “What meal reminds you most of home?”
• “What’s a dish from your culture that everyone should try at least once?”
• “Are there any foods people in your country adore that outsiders might find strange?”
• “What’s a phrase or idiom in your language that makes you laugh every time?”
• “Is there a word in your language that doesn’t exist in mine?”
• “What slang expression do you use the most with your friends?”
• “What’s a habit or value in your culture that you’re proud of?”
• “What’s the best thing about growing up where you did?”
• “What’s one thing most people misunderstand about your country?”
• “What’s something you’ve always wanted to learn about my culture?”
• “What’s the most memorable trip you’ve taken?”
• “If you could instantly become fluent in any language, which would you choose and why?”

How Tandem helps you build lasting friendships

Making friends while learning a language often comes down to having the right environment. Tandem is designed to make those connections feel easy and genuine, without overthinking it.

For one, every person who joins Tandem agrees to a simple set of community principles: be kind, be patient, and treat each other with respect. It sounds basic, but it makes a huge difference. When you know the person on the other side is here to learn with you and not judge your mistakes, it’s much easier to relax and be yourself.

That openness is usually what allows friendships to take shape naturally, but there are also several tools to help learners. Some of the most notable include:

• Corrections to help you learn without judgment
• Audio messages to build confidence and personality
• Video calls to bring real-time connection to life
• Translation tools to help you stay in the flow of conversation

These features support your learning, but they also help conversations feel natural, just like chatting with a friend.

How to use Tandem to make new friends

Members on Tandem come from all over the world, but shared interests make the distance feel smaller. A love of street food, old movies, football, poetry, or even oddly specific hobbies can spark conversations that go way beyond language practice.

Start by setting up your profile with your real interests, not just the languages you speak. Mention your favorite books, your obsession with matcha, or the fact that you’re learning guitar badly (but enthusiastically). These little details help like-minded people find you.

Next, use the “Search” and “Community” features to look for language partners who match your goals and more. You can filter by language, location, interests, and even learning style, so you’re more likely to end up talking with someone you genuinely click with. When you find a potential language partner, send a friendly, low-pressure message. Something simple like “Hey! I noticed you also love sci-fi films. Any recommendations?” Shared interests instantly give you something to talk about beyond verb conjugations.

Over time, those small exchanges are often what turn language partners into long-term friends.

Real stores from the Tandem community

Across continents and time zones, Tandem members have formed friendships that extend far beyond the app. Some travel to meet their language partners in person, others send gifts during holidays, and many have built years-long friendships that began with a single message. Every day, someone on Tandem discovers that language learning is just the beginning. You can read more about some of the Tandem tales here.

If you’re ready to improve your language skills and connect with people around the world, Tandem is the perfect place to start. Whether you’re shy, curious, adventurous, or somewhere in between, your next meaningful friendship could begin with a simple “hello.” Download Tandem and find a new language exchange partner today.